Capsized
by sexxibug
Summary: Helga Pataki moves to the cul-de-sac and tries to live vicariously through Double D's crush on Kevin to cope with her crippling loneliness from Arnold. (Kevedd, Helga/Arnold, and a little bit of Helga/Eddy- nothing says love like a half-priced scam.)
1. Chapter 1

This fic is going to switch POV's between Helga and Double D. This will be an eventual Kevedd (and Helga/Arnold), so bear with me on the first couple of chapters! It will get better, I swear. Enjoy!

* * *

It's not every day that the quiet, relatively normal suburb of Peach Creek gets a new visitor, let alone a new resident. All the cul-de-sac kids gathered together to watch the new neighbors pull into their new home. The moving truck arrived yesterday morning—not like the teenagers were actually waiting around to catch a glimpse of the new tenants. Certainly not! And it's not like they were all currently hiding behind bushes and trees to watch the new neighbors move in. Not in the slightest.

A large white and gold Hummer finally pulled up into the driveway. A man (heavy build, Double D noted), a woman (blonde, and slightly disoriented), and a young teenage girl (visibly angry) emerged out of the vehicle.

"Here we are, Olga!" the man said, "Your new home!"

The teenage girl scoffed. "It's _Helga_, dad. My name is Helga. And this _dump_ is not my home. This is a house I will be living in for three months until we move back home. This is not my home."

_Ouch. Surely she was just sour about moving to a new place, as Peach Creek is certainly no dump._

"Hey hey hey hey hey! Watch it, little lady. This business opportunity took a lot of hard work on your mother's part, and you better behave yourself while we're here. You got it?"

The girl (Helga?) sighed once more, "Yeah, yeah, I know, _dad._ Wouldn't want to tarnish this family's perfect reputation." The father nodded and turned to the car. A few minutes later, the older woman, presumably the mother, finally spoke up.

"Ohh honey, look! All those kids live here in our neighborhood! Awww, isn't that nice…"

Well, apparently their hiding places were rather obvious.

"Ohh, why don't you go make some friends, Helga? Go over and introduce yourself to those kids over there while your dad and I meet our friends for lunch, okay, sweetie?"

The young girl started to protest "But mom, I—"

"Come on sweetie, introduce yourself to that nice boy we told you about. The son of our new partners. Now what was his name again? Elmer? No, no… Ernest? No, that wasn't it…"

"His name was _Edward_, Miriam. You told me about _Ed-ward_. Smart, top of his class, I could learn a lot from Edward. Yeah, no, I'll just go inside and watch Wrestlemania on my Big Bob-approved cell phone."

The kids looked at Double D and he paled. He shrugged, not knowing what the girl was talking about. _Oh, wait…_

A look of realization crossed his face as he vaguely recalled a sticky note from his parents—_Our new partners are arriving today, please make their daughter feel at home._

His mother explained to him a while ago that they were working with an investor. Their relationship was more than strictly business though, but he couldn't for the life of him remember what that relationship was…

The father's retort snapped him back to reality. "That Big Bob cell phone is going back to the shop if you don't socialize with the kid, Olga. Make a good impression."

Is her name Helga or Olga? He knew his mother mentioned an odd name, but now he was getting confused. Has she changed her name? Why would her father distinctly call her by the wrong name?

"Alright, alright, _criminy,_ I'll go make friends with the boy,_ sheesh_."

* * *

(Helga's POV)

Helga grabbed her backpack from the car and swung it around her shoulders. She knew people were watching, but she didn't care. These people won't even remember her in three months. She could clean up and make it look like no one was ever here.

She took a deep breath and steadied her nerves. No matter where she was, she was always afraid of exposing herself. Moving to a new place, filled with new, unfamiliar people—without any of her friends and hardly any of her familiar possession—well, that was her own personal hell. It was hard enough to cope for three months without _him._

The only people she knew were her dysfunctional family, and the only one that actually somewhat cared about her was even further away. She didn't want to admit it, but she actually missed Olga.

Helga began to walk down the driveway. _Where were those bratty kids again?_ She didn't actually see them, her back was turned. She just knew they were…somewhere.

_I guess….I guess I'll do this_, she thought. She took another deep breath. _This is your chance to make a new impression. No one knows you here. This is your chance to be nice. A new year, a new start. Make a good impression. And above all; __**be. nice.**_

At fourteen years old, Helga Pataki was rather average-looking. Not breathtakingly pretty, but not ugly. Average. Her eyebrows were two separate entities now, but the two were still rather thick. Her signature pink bow acted as a headband and looked less goofy and childish. Her once lavish and clunky locket was traded for a smaller, more subtle model that rested upon her neck as a necklace. Her pigtails were still there but they hung lower, and she would occasionally wear her hair up in a bun or down, resting on her shoulders. Her white tank top and fluffy pink skirt (with matching white knee socks) gave her an air of femininity, but the scowl on her face and fists at her side told the world she meant business.

Helga Pataki was throwing herself into the bowels of this social circle and there was no going back from this moment on.

She finally spotted some kid behind a tree and approached it. She softened her expression and released her fists from their grasp as she grew closer. _Criminy_, she thought, _were these morons actually watching us the whole time? What creeps_.

She was now at the bunch of trees and bushes that were now quite obviously hiding people.

"Uh…h-hey. The name's Helga. Helga Pataki. I just moved here from out of town."

The group emerged and instantly became friendlier when she approached.

"Nice to meet ya! I'm Johnny, and this here's Plank! Say hi, buddy! Plank says hi and to stay out of his shed. What a funny guy!"

"Ah, eyebrows as thick as the goat's beard! Rolf also knows the feeling of being new to this crazy horse lot."

"Sweet headband, rad chick! I'm Nazz!"

"Woah mama! Tour of the neighborhood, only $10 an hour! But for you baby, I'll make it an easy $5."

This was going too fast for Helga. "Okay, okay, okay, settle down. I know it's not every day a new kid shows up out of the blue, uninvited," she thought back to the day Lila arrived to their fourth grade class and hoped to god the kids here would not subject her to the same treatment, "but you guys are going way too fast. How about I start? My… _parents_…told me to meet a boy named Eddward. So which one of you is Eddward?"

Three boys raised their hands (Ed's hand raised goofily, waving about; Eddy's hand shot up so rapidly it might as well have been a rocket ship to space; and Double D's hand was raised high in the air like a dutiful student.)

Helga sighed. "Already? Enough pranks. I'm not a substitute teacher, I know all three of you cannot have the same name."

"A-actually…" Double D spoke up. "By utter coincidence, us three do share the same name. It's quite remarkable if you ask me! However, I digress, Miss Pataki. I believe I am the Eddward you are looking for." He stepped forward. "My parents are the scientists that are collaborating with your parents to develop a sort of new cell phone technology? I read my mother's note that you would be arriving soon, and I was instructed to accompany you, and to answer any questions you may have; whether it be about our quiet, humble suburb or our award-winning school. My friends call me Double D, to avoid confusion."

He sounded just like Phoebe; heck, he even _looked_ like Phoebe. Just stick some glasses on him and put him in a skirt and bam!—Genderbend!Phoebe. She was glad this guy was so smart; she was used to her best friend's big words and her complex, scientific approach to solving problems, and this guy seemed like he was cut from the same mold. She was thankful for a bit of familiarity. Any familiarity made her seem at home.

"Thanks, sockhead." _Shit, Helga! Be nice._ The name didn't seem to bother the boy, maybe it was a term of endearment? Like Football—

"How about you show me around the neighborhood while my junk gets unpacked?"

The boy brightened at the idea. "I would be happy to escort you around the cul-de-sac! Follow me."

* * *

Helga and Double D, along with two other boys (_the other two that were named Edward_, she noticed.), took time to explore the cul-de-sac. It was mostly Helga and Edd talking; Helga would ask a question about the neighborhood ("Who was that blonde chick, again?") and Double D would answer her question and fill in the blanks. Occasionally, he would try to ask about her life in her old town, but Helga would avoid the question and answer vaguely. ("Where did you live before joining our suburban community, if you don't mind me asking?" "Oh..you know…just some lame big city. Nothing special.")

The only question that startled her was the one abruptly asked by Eddy when they were over by that van; "So, you gotta boyfriend back home? Or are you _single and ready to mingle_?" The look on his face was pretty scummy.

"B-boyfriend?!" Helga gasped so suddenly that she started choking on air. Her hand flew up to her locket and she gripped the metal charm. "I…d-don't be ridiculous." She gave a nervous laugh.

"Eddy!" Double D cried. "How rude! You have made Miss Pataki quite uncomfortable." He turned to Helga. "Please excuse him, as he is rather…uncouth when a pretty new girl shows up." He gave a weak smile.

Helga tried to change the subject. "So….how about that school of yours?" _Oh, Arnold…_

* * *

_Hope you like it!  
_


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter has more Kevedd in it :) And this is where the plot actually takes off!

* * *

The rest of the day was spent answering questions and exploring the new and unfamiliar neighborhood that Helga was to be living in. She decided it wasn't so bad—she could deal. Double D was nice enough, Eddy was making her laugh (albeit annoying her to bits), and Ed was cute in a way. She was enjoying herself for the time being. She could be happy here until she went back home.

Eddy's flirting was pissing her off, but she had to admit she was enjoying the attention, just a little. If only Arnold could see this—

No, no, no, stop that. Stop that.

Even though Helga made it quite clear she wasn't "looking for a good time" at any time, at all, ever; and even though Helga made it quite known that she could very well pound him into next July (although that statement made the situation worse; she needed to choose her words more carefully), Eddy still tried to woo the girl. But she liked the attention a little, even though her tough girl exterior wouldn't allow her to show it.

It's funny how if she was born and raised in Peach Creek, it might have been _Eddy_ who she was fawning over right now instead of Ar-ar…

Aren't we ever going to leave this stupid junkyard?! _Criminy._

"So," she took a deep breath. "What do you guys do for fun around here?"

* * *

A rumbling sound was heard in the distance; Helga was about to ask what it was, but it actually wasn't in the distance, it was rather close. It was a motorcycle, and the source of the sound was almost right in front of her.

The first person to notice the boy besides Helga was Eddy. He looked rather pissed off. "Beat it, Kevin! You _jerk_!" Woah.

Kevin ignored Eddy's outburst to focus on Helga. "So you're the new chick, aren't ya? Haven't seen you 'round here before." He tried to give her an award-winning smile, but it didn't work on Helga. If he doesn't have a football head, she's not hittin' it.

"Yeah, I'm the new chick. The name's _Helga_. What's it to ya?" _Fuck, Helga ol' girl, why can't you be nice for once?_ _Remember your first impressions, you moron_. This boy wasn't with the other kids earlier that day.

"Feisty. I like it." Oh, so he was that kind of guy. Whatever. She looked over at Double D to give him a silent signal—_what kind of guy was he?_ But Double D was frowning. He looked angry—not as stark raving mad as Eddy was, but it was a small, subtle kind of angry—the kind of angry that Helga used to exude when Arnold put the moves on Lila. Wait…

"Back off, shovelchin! She's my bird! I saw her first!"

Oh, _hell no._

She whipped her head around so fast she swore she gave the air around her a good whiplash.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?!" Screw first impressions—this moron needed to be taught a lesson and he needed to be taught one fast. She briskly walked towards Eddy and held him up by his shirt. "I'm nobody's _bird, _got it, bucko?!" She gave him one of her signature scowls, and looked him straight in the eye—wait, he was looking down….oh, fuck.

_Criminy, what a perv._

She released her grip and Eddy fell to the floor. _Men_. "You sniveling little tri-haired freak."

After dusting herself off, she crossed her arms over her chest. Double D must have noticed that she was a bit uncomfortable. He tried to change the subject, focusing his attention on Kevin.

"So, K-Kevin… to….to what do we owe this pleasure?" Double D actually looked…nervous? He looked like he thought he was quite the hotshot earlier today. What gives?

"Nothing, Double Dweeb. I just wanted to check out the new chick and word on the street was you were all at the junkyard."

Helga rolled her eyes. "Check me out?" she put her hands on her hips and leaned forward to meet Kevin's gaze. "Well I'm right here, snapback, take it all in. Apparently I'm quite the sight for sore eyes, am I right, no-chin?"

Kevin looked her over up and down, obviously igniting a fire inside Double D.

"That is quite enough gawking, Kevin! Why don't you pick on someone else?! I am sure Miss Pataki has had a rough day, and she—she does not—" his voice raised an octave, "she does not need someone like _yo-uuuu_…."

Kevin got off his bike and approached Double D while he was trying to scold the boy. "Aw, is Double Dork _jealous_ of the attention I'm giving eyebrows?"

Eyebrows, what the fuck? She didn't dare say anything about the nickname, as she was well aware that shit was about to go down.

"I—I don't know what you're talking about," Double D stammered. He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, trying to look tough. "I'm simply defending a damsel in distress, is all."

"I call bullshit." Kevin was closing the distance between Double D and himself. "Pigtails doesn't look like she needs any help. What's with the jealousy, dork?"

Double D was trying to stand his ground—really, he was—but the poor kid could not handle confrontation.

"Back off, snapback. We were just leaving."

Kevin glared at the girl and muttered a, "whatever." He sauntered over to his motorcycle and sat down. "See you dorks later." He looked over at Helga and Double D. "If you ever want to hang with the cool kids, you know where to find me." He started up his bike and rolled out of the junkyard.

"Actually…I don't?" Helga joked. The four exchanged laughs as they themselves walked out of the junkyard.

* * *

The gang was walking back towards the actual cul-de-sac now, tired out from adventuring. They went to the creek, to the school, to the junkyard, you name it—everywhere except the trailer park for some reason. Whatever, Helga wasn't interested in a stupid trailer park anyway.

It was a Sunday, and as the sun was starting to set, the looming threat of _the Monday_ was on everyone's minds.

"Ah, Miss Pataki, it almost completely swept my mind, but I have acquired your school schedule and your required textbooks for you. I hope that isn't too forward; please excuse me if I am overstepping my boundaries. However, I thought it would be easier and less hectic for you if I took the liberty of preparing yourself beforehand. Being the new student must seem frightening, no doubt—ah, Miss Pataki? " Helga realized she was staring at him with a dumb look on her face. "Oh, no…it's fine, thanks. It's just that…no one's ever really…_cared_…that much about me for no reason." She coughed. "Anyway, how 'bout I get my school stuff and we can meet the other two lamebrains later?"

Eddy scowled and Ed gave a smile of his own. "Okay, Helga!" he cried.

* * *

The two teens walked on into Double D's house. Helga immediately noticed the patches of yellow everywhere inside the house.

Double D went into the kitchen. "Shall I get you a drink? Water, a lemonade, tea…?"

She just realized how thirsty she was. "Uh, yeah thanks, I'll take a lemonade."

Double D poured the drinks while explaining where her books were. "They're under the coffee table, along with your schedule. Do you need any school supplies?"

"Oh, no, thanks," she responded. "I'm good. Thanks though." She rubbed her neck nervously. "So...how about that jerk earlier?"

"Eddy?" Double D sighed, "Oh, pay that womanizing fool no mind. He's harmless, really."

"No...the other kid. Snapback. I think his name was Kevin?"

"Oh…Kevin?" The way Double D said his name, staring off into space like that... He snapped back to reality, clearing his throat. "K-Kevin?!" he said a bit deeper, "Kevin enjoys showing off his...masculinity. He's all talk."

Helga gave him a look. "The way you said his name." she stated. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. She knew. It was a lovesick sigh, no mistaking that. She knew a thing or two about lovesick sighs- she's only been practicing them every day of her life, eleven years in a row. She smiled.

"You like him."

"Well, like as in a purely platonic sense, yes. I have known Kevin for many years now, and we are acquaintances, if not mere friends."

"No, what I mean is…well, I might go as far as to say…you _like him-like him_.

Double D's face reddened. "That is a falsehood! That is a baseless, fact less observation and I will not stand here and be—"

"Cool it, sockhead." Helga interrupted. "I'm not gonna tell anyone. Let's just say… I know a thing or two about impossible crushes." She had Double D's attention now. "What are you proposing?"

"I'm proposing," she gave him a devilish smirk, "that I help you…obtain your impossible crush, if you will."

Double D looked at her warily, not entirely convinced. "I hardly think Kevin would give me the time of day, let alone actually go on a _date_ with me. And, pardon my accusation Miss Pataki, but I don't know anything about you. How can I be…certain, that you will help me?"

Helga shrugged. "Payback for helping me? Putting up with me? Keeping Eddy relatively off my case?" Double D wasn't buying it. She sighed. "Okay, I'll level with you. One, I need a distraction from…my life back home. And before you ask!" Double D closed his mouth as fast as he opened it, "I don't want to talk about it. If…if I manage to score you a date with Snapback, maybe I'll tell you about it. Maybe. No promises. And reason number two is…well, you remind me of my best friend. And she has a thing for an obnoxious, masculine jock as well. And if I can't help her here, helping you is the next best thing."

Double D smiled. "Alright, so if I understand…you will help me in my…romantic endeavors, and in return, I will not question you about your life back in your old city? Have we a deal?" Double D held out his hand for a handshake, and she gave him one last signature Helga Pataki devilish smirk, as she stuck out her own hand and shook his.

* * *

(Double D's POV)

"So…all this yellow. What gives?" Helga asked, an obvious attempt to change the subject. She was looking around at all the post-it notes that surrounded the kitchen.

"Oh, it's how my parents and I communicate. Rarely are we home at the same time, and I seldom see them throughout the week. Some might consider it a bit unorthodox; strange, even; but alas…"

Helga scoffed. "At least your parents care enough to keep up with you." Double D looked at her curiously. "Whatever do you mean?"

He thought back to earlier that day—the loud, blowhard father who kept calling her by the wrong name, and the mother who looked like she wasn't all there. Helga looked at her feet. "I mean, like…" she paused, like she was thinking over her next words. She looked like she just realized something, her head snapping up to look at Double D and her once sullen expression turned into a scowl. "I don't mean anything, bucko!"

Double D chuckled. "It was merely a question, Miss Pataki."

"Yeah, well, we agreed! No prying!"

"Technically, your parents are not a part of your life back home, considering they came here with you, but I shall respect your wishes, and we can amend the agreement. No prying about your personal life unless you instigate it." Double D gave a sly smile. He didn't know why Helga was so defensive, but he knew he'd get the truth out of her one way or another.

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter! Please review *u*


	3. Chapter 3

Holy crap, long chapter ahead. Hope you like! And thank you so much for the reviews and favs :)

* * *

Monday morning came way too early for Helga. When the clock struck 5.00 a.m, her alarm blared easy listening music, (the station was set to MJAZ in her hometown, but it was obviously a different station here.) which was ironically, not the best music to get up to. _Fuck schools starting at 7 am, and fuck this whole damn town._

Helga groaned as she made herself get off her warm, comfortable bed and forced herself to face the rest of the cold, empty room. Double D recommended that she wake up at 5.00 am for her first day of school, as he would be escorting her to the campus today and he was going to show her around the place.

Double D knocked on her door at 5.45 a.m, and she was lucky she actually got ready instead of scrolling through her social media apps on her phone. She substituted a white t-shirt for her tank top, as the boy reminded her yesterday that it was "not appropriate for school". Whatever, she liked this t-shirt anyway. It had a front pocket for her bubblegum.

* * *

While they walked to school, they compared schedules. They noticed they both had AP English Lit together, as well as AP Biology.

"AP Biology?!" Helga paled. _Why….why would they put me in AP Biology without Arnold? _"Shit, this isn't happening." Helga was pretty smart, but she was nowhere AP level in science without her own personal tutor. Arnold practically begged her to take the class with him, with promises that he would help her throughout the year with whatever she needed.

"Is there something the matter? Surely if you're in AP Biology, then you must have some interest in science…"

"There is something the matter, but I can't tell you, remember?" she groaned. "Fuck." This was just great. School hasn't even started yet and she already knew she was going to fail this class. She could try to transfer out, but it was a very low possibility. Just fuckin' great.

"Alright, I'll spill. Just this once. But I only took AP Bio as a… deal with a friend. And since I'm….you know…_here,_ it'll be hard for me to pass the class." She sighed.

"I could always help you, if you'd like. I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit, Miss Pataki. I'm sure the reason you are even enrolled in the class is because you excel at Biology in some way. Trust me, you'll do fine." He offered her a small smile of encouragement, and she smiled right back.

* * *

The pair of newfound friends entered the front doors of Peach Creek Regional High School. They arrived rather early so Double D could give her a quick tour of the campus, showing her where the building blocks were located. "Now, the 200's and 400's hallways are both downstairs, and the 700 and 800 hallways are upstairs. The 300 hallway is next to the cafeteria. This is a relatively small high school, and I assume being from a large city that your high school would be much bigger, correct?"

Helga shrugged. "Mum's the word, remember?"

"Hm!" Double D scoffed. "Alright, I think we need to amend our little deal, here. I propose we make our deal a little more…interesting."

"Lay it on me, sockhead."

"Well, let me clarify something first. Our deal is that I am banned from asking you about your personal life, yes?"

"Yup."

" Well, can anyone else inquire about your life?" Hmm, he was tricky. "I guess they could," she responded. "I don't have to answer them if I don't want to, though."

"Fair enough." Double D agreed. "So, about my suggestion..."

"Hit it."

"For every scheme or plan you have, whether it works or completely backfires, at the end of the scheme, you have to tell me a fact about yourself. It doesn't have to be very personal; it could be simple, like your favorite color for example. I just don't like being friends with a complete stranger, if you understand."

Helga smiled. "I get you. It's a deal."

* * *

School still didn't start for another half-hour, so Double D helped her find her locker. It was conveniently next to Eddy's locker and Double D's locker. "Eddy and Ed should be arriving soon. I know how eager Eddy is to see you today." He giggled and Helga scowled. "Once I told him we would be arriving to school early, he made it a point to come early as well. However, with his overabundant sleep schedule, my guess is that he won't be coming that much earlier."

As if right on cue, Eddy slid in-between their conversation. "Hey baby, did you miss me?"

* * *

Once the bell rang, the foursome parted ways. Double D insisted that he help Helga find her first class, but she insisted right back that she was fine. She was a Pataki, after all, she could take care of herself.

Helga's day began with Geometry in room 202. These were the exact same classes she had in Hillwood, but they were in a different order. This is going to take some getting used to.

She recalled that the 200 hallway was downstairs, and she assumed room 202 would be right next to the entrance. Finding the 200 hallway, she opened the doors, and a gust of cold air blew right into her face. She was right in assuming that room 202 was next to the entrance.

Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, she opened the classroom door. Looking around, she recognized two kids from the cul-de-sac; the boy that compared her to a goat, and _him_. The object of her newfound friend's affections.

_Hella boss._

This meant two things—one, she could become friends with Kevin, and try to get juicy information out of him to help with her plans; and two, she could use her years of experience in classroom-stalking to get _other_ information out of him that he wouldn't readily give up.

Kevin, busy talking to that other kid, didn't notice her when she walked in. Helga walked over to their teacher, and that's when he noticed her. When she was done speaking to the teacher, she turned around and Kevin was looking at her.

"Hey eyebrows. There's a seat open next to me." He winked at her and gave her a shooting gun gesture.

"Thanks, snapback." She took the seat Kevin offered. _Try to be nice to this guy, do this for Double D. He needs all the help he can get._

"Ah! Rolf has also had trouble with the back snapping! The son of a shepard lives a humble but tiring life, yes yes."

* * *

Her next period was art, a nice break after the hell that is geometry. Well, she considered geometry to be easy, but math was math.

Art was in room 410, so at least it was still downstairs.

Arriving in the room, she looked around to see if she saw any familiar faces and _shit, she did_. Eddy was there, and by the looks of it, he was trying to murder his sketchbook paper, death by eraser. She also saw Ed, so that was good. She could use Ed as a buffer between her and Eddy.

She tried to avoid Eddy's gaze as she walked over to the art teacher. But he must have some Helga-meter on him or something because not even five steps into the room, his head shot up and he grinned.

_Dammit._

"Hey baby! Pop a squat over here next to the big man," he shoved Ed out of the way to make room.

"Big man? More like short man." Short man…Shortman? Oh, _fuck_…_there go my feelings again_.

"It's Helga, Eddy! From the belly of the underworld, Medusa rises!"

"Shut up, lumpy! You're like babe repellent. Every time you open your mouth, I lose points on my coolness scale by just being around you."

"Hey, be nice to him!" Helga yelled. At least this class was going to be interesting.

* * *

AP English Literature was her next class, and she had that class with Double D. She was going to tell him that she had Geometry class with his crush, and she was going to explain to him the first part of her master plan.

AP English Literature was in room 712, so she had to go upstairs. Hoping that Eddy's next class wasn't upstairs as well (she didn't feel like punching him for looking up her skirt today), she trudged up the stairs.

Finding room 712 was easy. She opened the door and spotted Double D, in the front row. _The front row!_ Well, Miriam did say he was at the top of his class, so he must be a huge bookworm.

After getting her paperwork signed by the teacher, she slid into the seat behind Double D. "Hey!" she said, sitting down. "I have some news about _him_."

Double D's ears started to redden. "Oh, what news could you _possibly _have about him?"

"I didn't even have to say a name and you knew who I was talking about. I could have been talking about Eddy, for all you know." Helga grinned. He's fallen and he's fallen _hard_.

Double D finally turned around. "I don't think it is necessary to say _his_ name, and if you _were_ talking about Eddy, your voice would be laced with more disgust. Now, what did you manage to get out of him in Geometry?"

How….? "That, uh, was the news. I have geometry with Kevin. How did you know?"

The boy realized his mistake and started to fluster. "….I-its not like I know his schedule or anything! Goodness no! It was j-just a… hypothesis. A scientific guess. It was pure science."

_Yeah, pure science. Just like how Phoebe attending every one of Geraldo's games for good luck was 'in the name of science'. "_I'm not buying it, toots." Helga grinned. "But I'll make an exception, this time."

The bell rang and Double D faced the front again. When there were breaks between the teacher talking, she would whisper things that she noticed about Kevin throughout their Geometry class.

"His favorite color looks like it's red. And he has, uh, a lot of Nicki Minaj on his iPod."

* * *

Once the bell rang, it was time for lunch. She was planning on telling Double D the first part of her plan, but Eddy and Ed were waiting for them outside the classroom. Whatever, she'd have enough time in their next class to talk about their _secret plan_.

Eddy and Ed stood in line for the cafeteria food, while Helga and Double D both had homemade lunches. Double D was about to show her to their usual table, until an unfamiliar voice interrupted Double D.

"Who do you think you are, blondie? Step off my man!" Helga turned to the source of the voice. She was fairly tall, with a thick mop of red curls upon her head; shielding her eyes from the rest of the world. Behind her were two more girls; a short, rebel-looking one with blue hair and a dopey blonde girl she recognized from art class.

"I….excuse me? Who _are_ you?"

"The name's Lee, sister. And word on the street is that you're warming up to _my_ Eddy." The redhead looked like she meant business. And, uh, Eddy? She could_ have_ him.

"It's true, Lee! I saw them together in art class! She was all over your Eddy!"

"Punch her, Lee! Show her who's boss!"

"Wait, wait, wait. Wait. Hold on here. Let me make this clear. I am _not_, and never _will_ be, interested in Eddy. _He_ is the one fawning over _me_. I don't want any trouble. You can have him."

Satisfied, she turned her back towards the girls, and tried to continue the conversation she was holding with Double D.

That is, until she felt a heavy weight pull on her two pigtails, and that same weight pulled her down to the floor.

A fight on the first day of a new school. Finally, a title previously unheld by Olga.

Her head was slammed into the ground as the redhead straddled her, "You stay away from my man, blondie! Eddy's mine!"

She swore she saw a camera flash in the corner of her eye, but she was too focused on getting this girl off. Bracing herself, she put all of her strength into pushing herself up off the ground and straddling Lee. The redhead pulled on Helga's pigtails, and Helga pulled on her hair right back.

"A catfight, sockhead! A catfight over _me_! I bet Kevin's never had two chicks fight over him like this!" That fucking kid…_Criminy! This knob thinks this fight is about him?!_

"I told you! I don't even _like_ Eddy like that, Ginger!"

"I don't care! Any chick that holds my man's attention gets her ass kicked!"

"Ugh!" Helga grunted as she put Lee into a chokehold; but Lee socked her from behind. The crowd around them (since when was there a crowd?) gasped as the new girl stumbled backwards.

Nobody makes Helga Pataki bleed her own blood and lives to tell the tale. Helga's hand immediately shot to her nose—was it broken? Who cares, it was bleeding, and that was enough reason to put the hurt on this girl. She stumbled backwards even more, clutching her face.

"Some tough girl you are! Can't even take a little swing to the face. "

_This ends now._

Regaining her composure, Helga brushed off the blow like nothing happened. "Oh, I can take a punch to the face, Gingersnap. I just didn't know you were a dirty fighter."

She could hear Double D's worried "_oh dear oh dear oh dear_" muttering in the background and she could swore she heard Eddy in the background taking bets on who was going to win.

Helga charged at Lee, again, taking the both of them down. Punches were thrown, hair was pulled—the usual fight. That is, until Lee went too far and started to pull on her locket.

Oh, fuck no.

"Get. The _**fuck. Off.**_ My locket. _Now_."

"Why don't you make me, sweet cheeks?" Lee smirked. This girl was asking for it.

Helga punched Lee directly in the face; she didn't even try to hold back. Helga took Lee's head and slammed it into the ground (receiving an 'oooo' from the crowd). With one final move, she punched Lee square in the stomach. She could hear the wind being knocked out of her, but she also gave her a quick uppercut (payback for the damage to the face). The fight was done and Helga was the victor.

"Take me now," Eddy whispered as he watched Helga wipe the blood from her nose. "That was so hot."

"That was so not, I'm going to get into a world of trouble because of _you_. And I'm pretty sure you took pictures of me fighting." Not even a full day of school had passed and she was already sick in the head. She hasn't even been apart from Arnold for three days and she was already falling apart.

_Criminy, I'm a fucking mess._

* * *

Yeah, looong chapter. I had to actually cut this chapter in half! If you guys have any ideas for this story btw, I would love to hear them! The Kanker fight was actually my friend's idea and it worked amazingly well so yeah, I would love to hear any ideas you have!

Please review! Thank you :)


	4. Chapter 4

This chapter is just under 2000 words. It's a bit of a filler, but there is a bit of Kevedd in here! Hope you like!

* * *

Just as Helga thought she got away with it, and just as she thought the fight was over, a rough hand grabbed her forearm. The other hand grabbed Lee.

_Oh, yeah. We're at school._

"Come on, ladies. We're going to the dean's office."

The person started walking out the cafeteria doors. Both girls struggled against the grip, but the figure would not let up. Double D followed right behind them, still muttering his _"oh dear oh dear oh dear_". When Edd approached the group, he cleared his throat.

"Sir, excuse my insubordination, but I believe—" he started, but Helga interrupted him (which he was secretly grateful for).

"Hey, _bucko_, I can walk _myself_. I'm not gonna run away or anything, I'm _fine_."

"Yeah, blondie's right! I don't need a _man_ telling me where to go."

The man (presumably a teacher or a counselor or something) looked at Double D questionably. The boy nodded, indicating that the girls could be trusted. He released his grip, but still walked a little too closely behind the girls.

The man led them to an office on the other side of the first floor. He knocked on the door, and a "come in" was said behind it.

"These _girls_ got into a little fight in the cafeteria."

The woman looked up from her desk. Her eyes grazed over Lee and settled on Helga. "Aren't you the new transfer student?" the woman questioned. Helga rubbed her arm and looked down at the floor. "Y-yeah…" she said, sheepish.

"I'm surprised at you, miss. I would have thought that with your transcript and everything, you would have been more… civilized."

_Civilized?!_ Helga fumed, but tried to calm down. She was already in trouble for fighting, she didn't want to be expelled for punching this chick.

"I was…reacting…in self defense, _ma'am_. She… was the one…who…started the fight." Helga said through gritted teeth.

"Is this true, Eddward?" the woman turned to look at the boy.

"Yes! It is quite true. There was a misunderstanding between the girls. Helga tried to walk away from the fight, but Lee was the one who instigated the attack."

"Thank you, Eddward. And might I ask, what are you doing here?"

"Ah, I was…assigned to…help Miss Pataki in navigating the school and to…k-keep her out of trouble." Double D started to blush faintly.

"And what a fine job you did. Well, Miss Kanker, I will deal with you shortly. I will deal with you in a moment, after I review the security tapes." The man escorted Lee out the door, leaving only the three of them.

"As for you, Miss Pataki, I will need you to call your parents."

_Shit, I'm not calling my parents. Who can I call? Olga? No, I can't be certain that she wouldn't tell our parents. She either could or couldn't, and I don't wanna take that risk_. The next name that popped in her head was Arnold; and she refused to even consider it. She thought of Phoebe next—and she thought it was the greatest idea, ever.

She hadn't had any time to talk to Phoebe since last week, and with her talking in Japanese, she could talk to her and no one would know what they were saying. She looked at the clock—lunchtime is just beginning at her old school. It wouldn't matter anyway, as she was sure Phoebe would excuse herself in class if she saw Helga's name on the caller ID. If she called Phoebe, her parents wouldn't ever have to know what went down at school today.

She stood up and walked toward the phone that was resting on the wall. Picking up the phone, she dialed the cellular phone number she memorized.

"_**Moshi moshi**_**?**" She started the conversation in Japanese, hoping Phoebe would take the hint and respond to her in the same language. The others in the room looked at her questionably, and she turned away from the phone to address their concerns.

"Uh, I was adopted. My parents speak primarily Japanese at home. I can speak English if you want, but uh, I can't guarantee they'll understand what I mean." The dean waved her hand, giving her permission to continue.

Phoebe didn't seem to catch the hint. "Helga?"

(bold is in japanese)

"**Hey Phoebe. I got in a fight, and they want me to call my parents, but I'm calling you instead."**

"Oh, Helga! I've missed you so much! It's Helga, everyone! We all miss you. How are things going in your new suburban community?"

"**It's…well, did you even hear what I said? I got into a fight, Phoebe."**

"**A fight**?" Phoebe switched over to Japanese**. "Helga… a fight? Ar—ice cream would be so disappointed in you."**

"**Arnold?! Why do you think I care about Arnold?"**

* * *

(Double D's POV)

Now, Double D wasn't one to eavesdrop, or pry into people's personal business. But he knew for a fact that she wasn't adopted (as his observations indicated that she bore an uncanny resemblance to both her parents), nor did her parents speak exclusively Japanese (although their grasp on the English language was certainly questionable). So, as his inquisitive mind wondered, what was she hiding?

She wasn't faking her knowledge of the language—she was speaking almost fluent Japanese. Her pronunciation was a little off and she stumbled over a few words, but it was close to perfect. He understood her, as Japanese was one of the few languages he knew (he also knew Mandarin, French, and Spanish, but his mother insisted upon learning Japanese because of family ties to the country)

His ears perked up as he heard Helga utter a male name. _Arnold?_ He knew eavesdropping was wrong, but, he could be bad every once in a while.

"**I don't want to talk to Arnold. We're not**..." she was getting angrier. "**I don't care what he… did you tell him I was on the phone with you?! I don't want to talk to him! Don't you remember what happened when I left? I don't care if he's been trying to contact me non-stop! I will see him in three months, and he can deal. Don't you dare put him on the phone! You know I'm trying to… not…remember him?" **She was struggling, trying to think of a word. Unable to stop his habit of helpfulness, the words came out before he could stop himself.

"_**Forget**_**. I believe the word you are trying to think of is **_**forget**_**."**

Double D hurriedly slapped his hand to his mouth and at the same time, Helga dropped the phone due to shock (thank goodness the phones still had cords here). The look on her face was pure horror; and he imagined that his face was full of shame. He didn't mean to pry, oh, curse his gentlemanly ways!

After Helga recovered from the initial shock; she reacted in the only ways she knew how—lashing out;

"Did you get a good earful, _sockhead_? Do you enjoy listening in on private conversations, _bucko_?"

and running away.

She tore away from the office and sped down towards the girl's bathroom.

* * *

After excusing himself from the dean's office, he followed after Helga. "M-Miss Pataki, please! I apologize! It was simply a misunderstanding, and this whole event has been blown out of proportion!" and really, how was he supposed to know that Helga was going to converse in Japanese? How was she expected to know that he knew Japanese? And really, how was he supposed to avoid the conflict in the first place? _"Excuse me, but I understand the Japanese language quite well. Would you mind switching to a language I am not fluent in so I cannot eavesdrop?"_

He sighed, panting, as he reached the door to the girl's bathroom.

"Miss—Helga, please. I'm deeply sorry. All of this has been a huge misunderstanding. Please accept my sincerest apologies. It might help you to know that I couldn't make any sense of your conversation." He hoped she could hear him through the door and he hoped he didn't look like a crazy person, trying to talk to a door.

"You got some girl trouble, dork?" a familiar voice said behind him. Not now, please. He would have killed for the chance for Kevin to approach him in any other context, but he was right in the middle of a crisis and he was not going to fall for his good looks and bad boy charm. Not today, gay thoughts! Not today.

"I am in no mood for your games today, Kevin, as I am preoccupied with another matter. Besides, shouldn't you be in class?"

Kevin shrugged. "I needed to use the can." _Classy_. "And then I saw you trying to talk your girlfriend into coming out of the bathroom—"

"She—she's not my girlfriend!" Double D said a little too quickly. Kevin raised an eyebrow over his outburst, but he disregarded it. "Whatever." He took two lollipops out of his back pocket and offered one to Double D. Edd happily took it from him, _What a gentleman_, he swooned.

"T-thank you, Kevin."

"Don't read too much into it, d-dork. I noticed you didn't eat anything while you were fretting over Eyebrows in her little catfight."

"You...you noticed me?" Edd looked up at Kevin with a questioning expression on his face.

"N-no! Not like that, dorky. I just… I dunno, it's kinda hard not to notice you sometimes, I guess. Whatever." Kevin shrugged. "Don't think too much about it. And… feel free to sit with me if Eddy's making you guys feel weird or something, I don't know."

"Thank you for the gracious offer, Kevin." It was at that moment that he noticed the girl's bathroom door was slightly ajar… it appeared that someone was watching them. Kevin noticed, too.

"Hey, your girlfriend's watching us."

"I'm not his girlfriend!" Helga said from behind the bathroom. She emerged, eyes slightly red.

Kevin gave her a suspicious look. "You blazin' it up in there, eyebrows?"

Helga scoffed. "No, you ass. I was upset. But I'm over it now." She sighed. "Sorry I got mad at you, sockhead."

Double D offered her a smile. "It's perfectly alright, Helga. Now, I suggest that we all three head back to class. Kevin? Will you be joining us?" Double D asked.

"Uh, thanks, but no thanks. I still haven't used the restroom. I'll catch you two dorks later, though." He winked at both of them, and walked in the opposite direction. When he was out of earshot, Helga spoke up.

"Soooo…" She grinned. "You two were talking."

Double D rolled his eyes and tried to fight a smile. "Oh, we didn't really talk about anything… you know…just…_things_." He sighed. "Are you alright?"

"I'm just _peachy_. Now, remember how Kevin told us that we could sit at his table? And yesterday he said, and I quote, 'If you ever want to hang with the cool kids, you know where to find me'?"

"I do recall, yes."

"Then…let's sit with him tomorrow at lunch." Helga suggested.

Double D started to protest. "Oh, no, Kevin was only being polite, I highly doubt he was serious."

"He offered twice in two days, sockhead. He's serious. I heard him talking to Goat-boy in—"

"Goat-boy? Pardon my interruption."

"Rolf. I heard them talking and apparently they're throwing a party this weekend. So my plan is, we sit at their table, we get you invited to the party, and then… things escalate from there, if you know what I mean." She winked.

Double D seemed to think it over. "Oh but, I couldn't possibly abandon Eddy and Ed."

"They'll be fine for one day. Blame your absence on me, if you have to. Point is, just sit with them tomorrow and see where it goes."

Double D sighed. "Well…I suppose it couldn't hurt."

* * *

uh oh! plot development! next chapter will be better...more kevedd (if things go according to plan, lol.) please review if you liked it! : )


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter is super long and there isn't even any kevedd in it! it's mostly Helga and her making friends but the next chapter will have a lot more kevedd :) hope this chapter was worth the wait x

* * *

Helga and Double D's fourth period was AP Bio; her most dreaded class of the day. However, Double D had told her earlier that the cool blonde girl was in this class as well. She wanted to make friends here, she really did, but so far today, it hadn't been working in her favor. Helga hoped that this blonde girl (Natalie? Natasha?) would like her and they could be friends. Hopefully. Class was only barley starting, which was good.

"Well that was a freebie," Helga commented on their way to class.

"Pardon me?"

"You know, 'bout the whole fight and everything. Back home I would've gotten into huge trouble and a stern talking to, both from the school and from my boy—" she coughed. "Uh, you know, my, my...boy…boy-at? Boat Club? Friends?" She gave a nervous laugh and her voice cracked as she tried to cover up her slip of the tongue. "My…boat club friends! You know, they, uh…they wouldn't like me…fighting…because…I could get kicked out of the club! You know."

"Uh-_huh"_ Double d replied, eyeing her curiously. "Well, no matter."

The duo entered room 304, and Double D explained to the teacher why they were late _("I had excused myself for a moment and Helga had wandered off! Poor girl got lost. It took me a while to find her, but I succeeded!" _Double D was a pretty good liar when needed be.). The teacher wasn't in the middle of a lecture or anything so he didn't mind. Double D excused himself to go sit with the blonde girl, but this time he was in the last row. _The last row? He was sitting next to the blonde girl in the last row!_ _Hella boss_, she thought. _Double D's a cool kid in this class_. If Double D was already good friends with her, being friends with the girl would be a snap.

She gave her paperwork to the teacher, and he signed it and returned it back to her. Double D waved to her and motioned her to sit with them.

"Helga, let me introduce you to Nazz. Nazz, this is Helga. I hope you two will become great friends in the short time that Miss Pataki will be with us." He smiled.

"Hey, I'm a big fan of like, your whole style. You do what you want and don't care what anyone thinks! That's sooo rad." Nazz smiled and held out her hand for a fist bump.

"Oh, hey, thanks." Helga laughed and completed the fist bump. "I just, you know, live my life according to my own rules, I guess."

"Now, Helga, we are supposed to be completing this week's packets in groups. On Thursday there will be a lab to complete, and there will be a test on Friday. We are doing the packet as a group so we all know we understand the material. If at any time you do not understand something, Nazz and I will be glad to assist."

Nazz nodded. "Yeah dude, like, I suggested that, you know, I do one page, and Dee does one page, but he wanted us to work, like, _together_. Right, Double D?" She winked and gave him a nudge.

"A-ah, well, you know what they s-say…two heads are better than one! Shall we get started for the day? And, my apologies for being tardy, Nazz. It won't happen again."

"Oh, don't worry. I watched the fight at lunch." She smirked at Helga. "You really put the hurt on Lee, dude! Badass!"

Helga laughed. "Oh, yeah, well, she had it coming."

"Yes, and I am sure Helga regrets her actions. Shall we continue with the assigned classwork?"

* * *

Helga had to admit that she wasn't _horrible _at AP Biology. She did stumble on a few questions, but Double D and (her new friend!) Nazz helped her out. She had to admit, she was enjoying her time here. She missed Hillwood, that was for sure, but the people here didn't know her and she was a blank slate; everyone was nice to her and the school was nice and she had more than three friends here. She would be okay here.

Her next class was History, and after comparing schedules, she knew she had the next two classes with Nazz. Double D was great and all, but she missed having a _girl_ friend.

"Well, I am ecstatic that you ladies have gotten along so swimmingly! Nazz, I can trust you to escort Helga to her next class?"

"Of course, Double D! You can count on me." She winked at him. "See you tomorrow, bro!"

Edd waved back. "Goodbye, Nazz! And Helga, I will walk you home after school, if you would like."

Helga shrugged. She didn't _need_ to be walked home, but she was a little worried she would get lost. "Whatever floats your boat, football head." Both Nazz and Double D looked at her, one eyebrow raised. "I-I-I mean, sockhead! I, uh, I, I just…saw…a poster! For the football game on Friday! A-and you, know," she laughed nervously "I wanted to say football game and sockhead at the same time...a-and it came out as football head! Isn't that crazy? A ha ha ha! Who—who even has a football head, right?!"

"Why on Earth did you want to say football game?" Double D inquired.

"Because I…wanted to see…if you wanted to go?" Helga was becoming less and less convincing, she needed to act fast. "C-come on, Nazz! We'll be late if we don't hurry up! Catch you later, sockhead!" Helga took hold of Nazz's arm and ran swiftly in the other direction.

"No running in the halls, ladies!" the two girls heard Double D call after them. Helga slowed down once Double D was out of earshot.

"Are you alright, dude?"

"Just peachy! Now, we better hurry up or we'll really be late, and I don't need another trip to the dean's office."

* * *

Nazz and Helga entered the room to their history class. Nazz warned Helga that both Lee and May (the one in her art class, she remembered) were going to be in this class. Both Kanker sisters were absent, though. Maybe they were all pulled out of school for the day?

As the History instructor started to teach today's lesson, Nazz and Helga started to chat.

"So, are you friends with that one kid, shovel chin?" Helga asked. Earlier that day in Geometry, she heard Kevin talk about Nazz and how it was her turn to bring the drinks to the party this weekend. Helga thought that once she befriended Nazz, she could get some inside information about Kevin.

"Haha, you mean Kev?" Nazz asked.

Helga nodded. "Kevin, yeah." She hoped that Nazz wouldn't mistake her inquiry as an infatuation with Kevin; but what else was she supposed to say? She was debating on saying "I'm asking for a friend," because, well, who were her friends? Ed, Edd, and Eddy were her friends. She didn't want to give Double D away; and she very well couldn't pin the crush on someone else; and she didn't want to trick Nazz into thinking that either Eddy or Ed had a crush on Kevin. What do?

"Yeah, we're pretty much best bros. Why do you ask?" _Shit! _She thought,_ Better think of a good ruse, Helga!_

"Oh, I…well, I just wanna get to know him a bit better." _Lame!_

"Haha, do you like him, dude?" Nazz giggled and Helga blushed at the question. She didn't like Kevin, at all! But whenever matters of her heart were questioned, she was a chronic blusher. Heck, Nazz could have asked if she liked _Geraldo_ and she would have blushed.

"What? No way—"

"Ladies! Would you like to come up and teach the class?" the teacher thankfully interrupted their conversation.

"Oh, uh, no?" Nazz replied. Apparently she wasn't used to teachers interrupting her. Wasn't she a cheerleader or something?

"Then please stop talking so I may continue."

Both girls nodded and ceased their talking. Nazz motioned to Helga, and pointed to her desk. Helga nodded, but had a confused look on her face. Nazz held up a finger as to say, _one second_, and started writing. A few seconds passed and the paper she was writing on landed on her desk.

_So why do you wanna know about Kev, bro? ;) (p.s teachers don't care about passing notes I guess! As long as you're not texting, they don't care! )_

Helga gulped. She'll use a bullshit answer to the question for now, and she hoped Nazz wouldn't bring it up again.

**Ugh, no, gross. He pisses me off! I just wanna know what makes him tick, I guess.**

_Haha dude, that's cool! Ummm what do you wanna know about him?_

**Is he always a jerk?**

_Omg, what did he do to you? No, he's not a jerk once you get to know him. He's a pretty chill dude if you're his friend but like he doesn't really know how to act around people he doesn't know very well so like he comes off as a jerk sometimes but he doesn't mean it! He's just bein himself :( but if he upset you in any way, dude, I can totally kick his ass!_

**Oh don't worry, he didn't do anything to me, but he's kind of a dick to Double D sometimes. And he was kind of an ass when I first arrived, but I got over it. What else should I know about him?**

_~Kevin Fun Facts ~_

_- He loves sports! SPORTS!_

_- He really likes jawbreakers and he has like a TON in his garage so don't buy any just ask him for some!_

**- **_One time he sprained his wrist and he cried like a lil bitch but don't tell him I said that!_

_- He wears the same red hat like EVERY DAY. I don't think he ever like, washes it or anything. He and Double D are like hat twins or something! (except DD prolly washes his hat!)_

_- He used to have like a little schoolgirl crush on me but it's over now ;) So you can go after him if you like! We are just bros now!_

_- He is really nice when you get to know him!_

_I'll try to think of some more Kev fun facts for you ;) Was that good enough?_

**Wow, thanks! Omg I never noticed the hat thing! Do Double D and Kevin not know that they can buy different hats? ;)**

Their note continued all through class period, the girls trying to muffle their laughter as their exchanges got funnier and funnier.

**Okay, I have another really dumb joke. What's green and smells like paint?**

_What?_

**GREEN PAINT!**

* * *

Phyiscal Education was next, and Nazz told her that they shared the class with all three Kanker sisters. _Just great_, Helga thought. _More Kankers_. At the very least, she rationalized, that if they antagonized her in gym class, they could fight without technically getting in trouble. They just had to make sure they were fighting on the court (as in, actually playing sports) instead of getting into another physical fight.

Nazz and Helga arrived at the gymnasium with plenty of time to spare before the bell rang. Nazz showed Helga to her locker (there was a spare locker next to it) and they started to change their clothes. Helga pulled hers out of her backpack and looked at the t-shirt she was supposed to be changing into.

"_Criminy_! Are you kidding me?" Helga said as she looked at her uniform. "Are we actually called the _Peach Creek Creamers_?"

"Yeah, dude. Kinda funny in a weird, twisted kinda way."

"Someone actually suggested this name, and then someone else thought this was a good idea. A whole board of people approved this name. Another person sent out for these shirts, and a _whole company_ made like six hundred of these shirts. Did no one actually stop to think about this name?"

Nazz giggled. "I guess not, dude! I think the only way we ever win a game is like, because the other teams are too busy laughing at our uniforms." The girls shared a laugh and headed towards the gym, out of the locker room.

"Oh, by the way, like, I think Eddy's in this class too! Well like, he's in the boy's class." She giggled. "I only remember because like, whenever the boys run outside, he likes to take off his shirt and show off."

The bell rang for class and the girls sat down on the gymnasium floor.

"Alright, listen up, ladies. A new week, a new unit. This week's sport is kickball." The coach was explaining the fundamentals of the game and showing the girls the equipment they were using. This week was going to be a snap for Helga; she practically spent her whole childhood playing kickball! Easy breezy. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

"Oh, and before I forget, we are going to play this week with the boys. An old fashioned girls vs. boys tournament." _Girls vs. boys? How patriarchal. _Helga thought_. These boys better not be afraid to play rough._

The students filed outside towards the baseball fields. The two coaches split the classes into four teams; two girls' teams and two boys' teams. Of course, Nazz was on Helga's team and they were both going to be playing against Eddy's team. Not that Helga was complaining; in fact, it was the opposite. She was glad to know at least one person on each team; and she couldn't wait to antagonize Eddy. All in good fun, right?

* * *

The kickball game was evenly matched; the game was currently tied at 2-2. Helga was up to kick next; and the pitcher was (who else?) none other than Eddy.

Of course, Eddy noticed this as well.

"Come on baby, give it your best! I'll go easy on ya." Eddy crooned. Helga was taken aback. _Easy? Go easy on me? _Shefumed._ Helga G. Pataki doesn't need anyone to go easy on her. I'll show him._

It's not like Eddy really _meant_ to piss her off, and it's not like she actually _meant_ to hurt Eddy, but when you antagonize Helga Pataki, well, you should have seen it coming.

So when Eddy gently rolled the ball to her, she didn't think twice about putting all her power into her right foot and kicking the living daylights out of that poor, unsuspecting rubber ball.

What she didn't anticipate, however, was her kick landing directly into Eddy's face. And she truly felt awful about it. Well, she'd be lying if she said she didn't feel a _little_ bit of satisfaction—but only for a second, and then she went back to feeling horrible.

"Oh my god!" she screamed, running towards Eddy. "Eddy! Oh my god! Jesus, Eddy! I'm sorry! Shit! Are you okay?!"

She hoped to whatever divine power that he did not lose his memory, because then she would be indebted to Eddy for however long his memory was away. And, knowing Eddy (because Eddy was just like her in some aspects), he would probably try to milk his amnesia as much as he could once he came to.

"I'm fine, sweet cheeks. You pack quite a punch." He chuckled. "I like 'em feisty."

"No, you're not fine! God, fuck, I'll—" she cleared her throat. "I'll take Eddy to the nurse's office!" she yelled. She grabbed his hand and helped him up. "Let's go," she said, putting his arm over her shoulders and helping him walk. She knew it was his face that was damaged (and she knew that a "_why did you have to hit the moneymaker_" comment was in her near future), but she felt horrible about injuring his prized possession so, she tried to be nice.

The walk to the nurse's office wasn't far, thankfully; it was adjacent to the gymnasium.

"I don't know why I underestimated you, you can kick pretty hard."

* * *

Once they arrived at the nurses office, the nurse took one look at his bright red (and slightly caved in face) and gasped in horror.

"Oh dear! What happened?" she asked, although it was quite obvious due to the pattern on his face that he got kicked with a rubber ball.

"I, uh, I accidentally kicked the ball and it landed…on his face," Helga gave a nervous laugh.

"Yeah, I don't know _why_ you had to hit my face! It's a _goldmine_!" And there it was. She rolled her eyes, trying to keep nice, since, well, she did hurt him. "Anyway I just, uh, thought he'd need an ice pack and a band-aid for his scrapes on his elbows." Eddy gave her a sideways glance and grinned "How did you know I scraped my elbows, sweetie?"

"I just knew? _Criminy_! I try to be nice..."

Just then, someone burst in—it was a student, and his face was bloated and blotchy and all shades of _this dude's having an allergic reaction oh my god he's gonna die if we don't act fast._

The nurse sensed this emergency and rushed towards him. She called behind her, "I'm sorry, but I need to help this student! I am sure you can find the supplies you need!"

"Uh, I'm….new." Helga said, a little too late. "Okay, shouldn't be that hard, right?"

"Hey I… feel kinda bad, you know." Eddy said, looking down. He rubbed the back of his neck, and he was visibly nervous.

"About what?" she asked, distracted from trying to find the stupid band-aids. _We're in a nurse's office, how hard is it to find some damn band aids? _"I'm the one that basically kicked you in the face, what do _you_ have to feel sorry about?"

"I don't know! About, bugging you all the time, or something, geez! I just…" he groaned, crossing his arms over his chest. "I just think you're kinda pretty and stuff," he muttered barely audible. "So I try to impress you, I guess. I just wanna be friends with you, I don't know. Stop getting me all _mushy_!"

"Me? You think I'm…pretty?" she asked, a bit stunned. She knew Eddy liked her, but she didn't think it was due to her looks; she thought it was due to her attitude. Actually, she didn't think he really liked her for her attitude either, she just thought that she was the new girl with a pulse and that's what attracted him.

"Yeah, I think you're hot stuff." Well, there goes the moment. "But I just…" he shrugged. "I wanna be friends with you too, ya know."

Helga laughed. "Hey, man, hey." She walked over to Eddy and sat next to him. 'You are my friend, alright?" She playfully punched his arm. "I just get annoyed pretty easily. You're a pretty cool kid. Don't let me get you down."

"Hey, what's in that crazy locket you got goin' on?! I've never seen you without it, what gives?" Well, the moment was ruined again.

She was taken aback by the question; and she reacted like she did in every other situation that mentioned her precious locket—she gasped and pulled the locket away from the offending party, as if no one but her was allowed to bare the secret she kept so close to her heart. "I—I don't want to talk about it! It's nothing exciting or anything anyway it's just…s-special. I mean, it's special, but not exciting or anything! Why are you giving me that look! Quit it!"

"It's a picture of me, isn't it babe?" he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Ugh, it is not!"

* * *

omg sorry i just really like helga/eddy sobs. next chapter there will be kev and dd action so stay tuned! and please review :) i love when people tell me what they found funny so! hope you liked!


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